Still now word about the job that I was supposedly getting an official offer from this week. Becoming very frustrated. On Monday I am going to start looking for other jobs. I probably shouldn't have put all my eggs in one basket, but it is what it is. So I continue to be bored silly here at home. I should probably try to venture out some afternoon instead of staying cooped up all day in the house. Get out of my head some.

Today I woke up with a sore throat and a pounding headache. Grr. I've been sick a lot this year, no doubt because of all of the stress from completing my thesis, graduating, moving, etc. Good stress but stress nonetheless. Diet has been right on. I've been really disciplined this week. Okkk, except for the two slices of pizza. I found a new treat that I like. It's fat free, sugar free chocolate pudding, and I add in chocolate protein powder. I'm sure my trainer would say it is a no-no, since I'm sure it's mostly chemicals. Ah, well. It tastes yummy and awfully chocolatey! :-)

I'm supposed to get the official job offer this week. We'll see. That would be nice to go back to work. Ok, well maybe not back to work but to make a real income. If I get this job, I will be under supervision to become a licensed alcohol and drug counselor. I'll be running groups, doing individual therapy. Makes me nervous. And of course my ever present worry is there: what if I don't know what to do or say? I'm sure I'm not the only beginning counselor worried about this.

So the last few days I haven't been up too much. It's pretty boring, actually, but I am enjoying the time off. Reading, napping, watching tv. Working out from time to time. Can't complain too much. :-)

Contest prep begins!

Yesterday was the first day of contest prep! As of this Saturday, I have 13 weeks before my show, which means that from now until the show, I have to be very strict with my diet. I hate this part. I *love* food. When I say "diet," I mean mostly that I have to eat clean, not that I'm restricting caloric intake. That part will come, but not right now.

I took progress pics last night, and the pics definitely gave me motivation to keep my diet on track. I want to be stricter with my diet than I was when I was prepping for the photo shoot. I also really need to work on my hams/glutes and shoulders, so I am adding in a few extra exercises per week for those muscle groups. We'll see how it goes!

Slacker...

Yeah, I know, that's me. I've been lacking on the blog front. Things have just been so crazy between packing and graduating and moving. I was feeling very overwhelmed about everything. It was just like I told a good friend how it would be: I would graduate, and then wake up in Oklahoma not realizing what just happened. The changes did not hit me until Tuesday, which was my second full day here. I began to really miss my friends and family and wondered what the hell I was thinking, moving here. But that rough patch is over, and I am feeling better, more like me at any rate. I've basically been walking around feeling pretty numb and immune but am starting to feel more hopeful.

This town of 35,000 is nothing to tell momma about. It's a small town. It feels that way. I can drive anywhere in about five minutes. In fact, my gym is only two miles away, and today I ran to the gym, worked out, and ran home. I'm none too thrilled about being here, but I can suck it up. I'll be happy if I can find a job in Tulsa. That way, I can work in a city, and come home to a small town.

The kitties are still not getting along very well. John has two cats, and I have one. My kitty is very fiesty, and she came in hissing and growling at the other two. Well, John's male cat, who is a very large cat, did not take a liking to that and now hisses at my cat. She's scared of him. There has been some progress, but it is slow. Right now, when I leave the house, I lock Lola in the office just to keep all the kitties happy and safe.

I'm so glad it's the weekend! I've been pretty lonely here during the day, so it will be really nice to have John around. We are going to the Tulsa farmer's market tomorrow morning. It's HUGE! I would rather buy groceries there and support local farmers than supporting a grocery store.

After my big fuss about wedding gowns, I went back to Davids and bought the dress there. My parents chipped in quite a bit, which I was very grateful for. Here is a link to the dress. It has a super long train, which I will either chop off or bustle. I am glad that is done. No more stress about it.

I also got a call from Family and Children Services of Tulsa, which has a couple job openings that I am very interested in. Today I got a voice mail from a woman there saying that my references came back, and everything looks good. Apparently they want to hire me because she asked me when I can start and asked me to apply for the OK State Board of Licensed Drug and Alcohol Counselors. Strange thing though is that I was not officially offered the job. We haven't talked money or benefits or negotiated. Tomorrow I am going to call the HR department of the company and ask them about the salary range for that position so I have *something* to negotiate with. I am also hesitant to put down $150 for the application fee for the board if I am not offered the job. I'll touch base with her tomorrow (after I talk to HR, ha!), and we'll see what happens from there.

Wedding hesitations

I said wedding hesitations, which is quite different from marriage hesitations. You can breathe again, John! ;-) Of all the things that I could write about (packing, celebrating, graduating, moving), I am going to talk about weddings and the ridiculous industry it is. I went to David's Bridal today to look around, and was almost immediately put off. I was greeted by two fairly young ladies (early 20s at the oldest) who took my information. They asked me about the groom's first name and then instead of asking for his last name (this is where I was put off) said, "And your future last name?" To which I curtly replied, "I'll be keeping my last name, but his is Appert. A-P-P-E-R-T." The first thing that bothered me was the assumption that I would just throw out my last name. I know it's tradition, but I am not a traditional girl. I'm the girl who has sported a hair style that was 3/4 an inch long and wore it proudly.

But beyond the obvious assumption was an underlying excitement--of romance, of sweet promises, and of happily every afters. And that bothered me too because we all know that that is not what marriage is about. It is about partnership, patience, persistence, and hard work.

I wanted to leave almost immediately, but I stayed and tried on, oh I don't know, 7 or 8 dresses? At least. There was one dress that I liked. The price, not so much. $500 for a dress that I'll wear once. My mom, who I got my financial sensibility from, stressed the importance of being able to wear the dress more than once. That dress, with a bustle in the back and lace and sequins all over, probably not wearable to other functions. And while I was there, the sales lady asked me twice about the colors of my wedding, whether I wanted to wear a veil, how I liked the shoes that were made exclusively for them.

And sometime during this afternoon, I became --disgusted?--with the wedding industry and the pressure to have a "proper" wedding. The invitations, the colors, the flowers, the location, the decor, the food, the booze, the DJ... In fact, I told one friend that we may not have a DJ and I think she was appalled. "Really?" she said. And where in all of those details is the marriage?

The track that we are on is for a wedding that is anywhere from $10,000 to $12,000. With that money, I could pay off a 1/3 of my graduate school debt, travel the world once over, buy a new-to-me car, feed many hungry families or one family for a very long time. In fact, were I to still live in the area, I would bake all the cupcakes myself. I wanted a small, intimate wedding--getting married at sunrise on a beach at Tahoe or a dock at Donner with a meal shared together with only family and our closest friends afterward--but now it seems to have become something else entirely.

Wedding planning!

I think I found my dress today! I say I think because I just started shopping, and I want to hit up David's Bridal at least before I decide. I want a straight dress, which is more form fitting, and a Grecian style. This dress is gorgeous. I wish I had taken note of the brand so I could post a pic of it up here. AND it's reasonably priced. So if I don't find anything at David's that I like just as much or more, then I am definitely going back to Marchele's to buy it.

I also went cake tasting today and was VERY disappointed. I went to Josef's here in town, and tried cupcakes. For whatever reason, their cupcakes are NOT as good as their cakes. I LOVE their cakes, but they have a long ways to go with improving their cupcakes. So, I will be sticking to Batch Cupcakery, which is the first place I tried.

So, basically, I have this thing all planned. I know it's only been about two weeks, but I already know what decorations, the venue (which John and I will tour next Friday--I'm fairly certain we're going to stick with it. It's in Genoa, which is gorgeous, and the best part is that there is NO rental fee if we meet a minimum on food and beverage.), the dress, the florist... The DJ we are not sure about yet. So if we wanted to, we could get married next week! bwahaha! ok, not so much. I wanted to know which vendors and the venue before I leave for Tulsa next week. I think I accomplished that much at least.

The photos you see are photos of my inspiration. It's important to me to somehow incorporate elements of my Chinese heritage into the wedding. Originally I thought I wanted to do this by using red, which is a celebratory color. But I am leaning more toward different shades of pink as the color (sorry John! That means you get to wear pink, too, hahahahaa!) and incorporating things like parasols, Asian favors, etc... What I would love to have are Chinese dragon and lion dancers, but Reno is a small town... No such thing here, unfortunately. But just think of how much fun that would be!

The world of figure competitions

Today was my first earnest attempt to get back into the swing of things at the gym and with my diet. I did a photo shoot about a month ago, and since then, I have not been following a diet much, and the last two weeks, between defending my thesis and getting engaged and packing, I've been slacking at the gym. Well today I went to the gym and attempted to do 1/10 mile sprints at 6 min/mile with 1/10 mile rest between sprints. It about nearly killed me. About two months ago, I was doing a mile at 6 min/mile. Sooo, I stopped when I thought I might hurl, which was after 15 minutes. It'll get back up there. I am about 16 weeks out from my first competition. That being said, I have been at this point several other times, thinking I was so many weeks out from a competition, and due to different reasons, have dropped.

So what am I talking about when I say competing? Basically I am training hard in the gym to achieve a certain look, then get on stage in a shiny custom-made bikini with my hair and makeup did. There are several "looks." There is bodybuilding, which I am sure many of you are aware of. Then there is bikini which is just that. I'm sure you all know what a bikini contest looks like. Same shiny bikini but add a themed sportswear round, like a pirate or sports fan or... you name it. The outfit usually shows off the tummy and shoulders and requires booty shoots.

Then there is fitness, which includes a routine round that is about two minutes long. These girls are nuts. Choreography includes such moves as one-armed push ups, presses, handstands, crazy balancing poses. There is also a bikini round This is what I really want to do but have not yet gotten around to it due to financial reasons. Choreography is expensive, as are the costumes. Here is a link to one of my favorite fitness routines. This is Shana Martin... Not all routines include crazy tumbling skills... but this will give you a flavor of what fitness is all about.

Finally, there is figure, which I mentioned earlier is a cross between bikini and bodybuilding. Not as muscular as bodybuilders but more so than bikini girls. Focus is on symmetry and conditioning while maintaining femininity (unlike bodybuilding). Here are some examples of figure. The picture on the left is Ingrid Roldan, who is Figure America champion.
This is not a picture of her competition ready, but it gives you an idea of the type of look that Figure America goes after.

And on the right is a pic of Gina Allioti. She won the IFBB Arnold Classic last year. Her body is amazing, but probably a little more conditioned than I would like. I say that, but I would be happy if I look like that. So what it entails to get in shape like that is, well, years of consistent lifting. A lot of it is also about eating clean and the diet. Actually it is mostly about eating clean and lean. 10% genetics, 10% training, and 80% diet. People usually start really cleaning it up anywhere from 12 - 16 weeks out, although in theory eating clean should be year round, even in the off season. I know Gina's trainer requires lots of cardio even in the off season as well as a strict diet in the off season.

There are different approaches, though. I know for a fact that Gina's trainer/nutritionist requires a lot of supplements like fat burners and glutamine, BCAAs, etc. To me this is scary because the FDA finds a lot of these supplements to be unsafe, particularly the fat burners. Just recently the FDA recalled Hydroxicut, which is a fat burner. The lady I train with is all natural. Our only supplements are a multivitamin and protein powder. Even the protein powder is very limited.

At any rate, it is time for me to get my bum in gear, especially since I want to do figure and not bikini. Figure requires a stricter diet... I'm definitely feeling up for it now that things in my life are falling into place. My new Ipod helps as well. I bought a nano to replace my shuffle that was stolen. Music makes a HUGE difference in my motivation to get to the gym!

My first blog! I'm very excited about this because it's something that I've been thinking about for a while. I have a blog on bodyspace.bodybuilding.com and one on cathysavagefitness.com. I've been wanting to consolidate my ramblings and expand them at the same time. The other two are geared toward fitness only. Now I can talk about whatever I want! Just a little more about me. As my profile says, I am finishing up my master's degree in social work. In addition to mental health, I am also passionate about fitness. I was a long distance runner for many years, but gave that up over a year ago due to overuse injuries. So now I just love lifting, and my goal this year is to get on stage to compete in figure, which is somewhere between bikini and bodybuilding. My target show date is August 29. Two weeks from today, I will be spending my first night in Oklahoma! My (new!) fiance was transferred there. So of course, when he first told me about this, I kicked and screamed and said, hell no, I won't go, but now look at me... moving there. He's completely worth it, though, and I actually think Oklahoma will be a better place for me professionally than where I am now. So, new adventures on the horizon. And now, I have to go back to my room and face the mess. Packing is awful...