I'm baaack!

I've been gone for a very, very long time. I doubt that anyone even reads this anymore, but in case there are a few readers, I'll fill you in.

Oklahoma has not grown on me. My job has grown on me some, but not enough. I've made only one friend here. But at least I can say she is truly a friend, someone I can count on and someone who I can talk to about anything. I hate living in a small town. I hate living in the Bible belt. I hate commuting 2 hours/day. I hate the weight that I've gained thanks in much part to my commuting lifestyle. I hate that I allow myself to feel depressed and often defeated by this lifestyle. I'm tired. I'm unmotivated. I'm a little depressed, which I suffer from anyway, but I've noticed it more over the last few months.

I really do try to keep a positive outlook. I've made some changes. I listen to books on CD while I commute, so all that driving doesn't feel like such a waste of time. And I love the books. I drive more slowly now and often cannot wait for my commute. I go out to lunch with my friend at least once per week.

So, here I am, less than 2 months from my wedding and feeling very unfit. Unhappy, too. But, more importantly than anything I've just spoken about is that I'm tired of how I'm feeling. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of having no motivation. I'm tired of carrying around an extra 10 lbs.

I signed up for fitnesspoynters.com, the "psychotic fat destruction program." Yes, that's really what it's called. The number of days training varies every 2 weeks, but will basically be anywhere from 4-6 days lifting and 5 days of cardio. The diet is very strict. No starches at all in my first week with the exception of my post-workout nutrition (that includes gummy bears!). :-) You can imagine my delight! I LOVE soft sugary snacks!

This time I am setting up a system of rewards. My aim is not to lose a certain amount of weight, because in some ways that is out of my control. Instead, my goal is to follow the diet as much as possible. There will be days when I go out to lunch or treat myself to sushi, but I'll be more mindful of what I'm eating. My goal is also to complete all the workouts, even the cardio. I might modify the cardio some. I want to run a sub 20-minute 5K this year, after all. And I also want to blog everyday about this journey. I am sure there will be days when I write very little, but there may be days where I write more. And if I follow this plan for two weeks, then I can reward myself. My first 2 week reward will be a pair of shoes. Nothing too pricey, about $50 or less. I rarely buy things for myself other than books, and I have been wanting to really clean up my wardrobe to look more professional at work. And if I follow this for 1 month, then I can buy a necklace that I've had my eye on for some time. This is a bit more expensive, about $100.

And that's it. Follow the diet with a few indulgences once per week, follow the plan, and write! I start tomorrow, since I've just received my training and diet plan today.